Holy Amnesia… Who Are You Again? And Why Am I In Tights And Why Does My Butt Hurt?
I always hated waking up with amnesia on Halloween. It’s always the worst time for it. I’ve said to myself numerous times, “I don’t know who I am. I’m apparently a pirate, slutty tiger, an out electrical outlet, Ipod, water bottle (through the different years). And also I have a craving for candy.”
What would happen if Johnny Depp woke up one morning with amnesia (amnesia in the sense that the only thing he can't remember is that he's an actor) and thought his actual identity was that of the character(s) he's played in movies (Edward Scissorhands, the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland, Willie Wonka, Jack Sparrow, Ed Wood, Sweeny Todd, etc.)?
If Johnny Depp woke up thinking he was actually Jack Sparrow, he would most likely not shower or brush his teeth in the morning. I’m assuming he would head outside and look for the closest marina to commandeer some sort of boat. On his way people would probably throw money at what they thought is a gay, homeless pirate which Mr. Depp would quickly take. What pirate doesn’t like money?
As Sparrow would try to enter the local watering hole, the bouncer would most likely reject his entrance. “Sorry, we don’t let homeless into this bar.” Capt. Jack would have better luck at the gay bars give his attire and mannerisms. He may even begin to think he was gay at which point a paparazzi would get his picture making out with another guy. The headline will read, “It’s About Gay Damn Time: Johnny Depp Caught Making Out With Man Who Has Pirate Fetish.
The happy could would live happily ever after until the amnesia wears off, most likely while Johnny Depp is cheek and hand deep in man love, grunting, and medium rare, pink in the middle, tube steak.
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