Holy Pilgrim Sex Batman! Those People Are Planking Each Other Pretty Hard!
Planking – laying flat, face down in an unusual, incongruous location. Or, what the pilgrims called “sex.” Either case is pure stupidity. So, this week’s question asks, “Why is planking so popular?”
Planking, like freestyle walking, owling, beanie babies, and gravity is a fad; people wanting to do something strange and something stupid, which in turn, makes it fucking awesome. What’s not to like about a hot girl lying face down with a chair on her face and a car at her feet. That, my friend, is what we in the business call “Wife-y material.” It’s also an unequivocalled sex invite, or at least that’s what I’m going to tell my attorney.
With this reasoning, planking is a form of peacocking. That is, showing off one’s ability to be a good match for procreation. Planking needs a certain amount of dexterity and creativity. Although just lying there may be boring in bed, in planking, it’s a necessity. Although planking does not make good sex on a stable surface such as a floor or table, it does make sex at least a little bit interesting in a hallway with a coffee table and a counter. Wifey-material, I tell you. Wifey. Material.
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