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Holy Boner Batman! Is That An Ice Cream Cone In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?!?! (Please say it's an ice cream cone though!)
According to New York City law, a person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket. What prompted this law's enactment?
In New York City, it is illegal to walk around with an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sunday. “What in the world?!?!” one might ask. Simply, Sunday is God’s day; a day of rest and a day of minimal activity including sex. Since this country was basically inhabited by pilgrims from its beginning, just about anything sexual was considered the work of the devil. Sex was mainly for procreation, and not for any kind of fun. They had 1, MAYBE 2 reasons to have sex (instead of the 50 that we have today) which were to consummate the marriage and to have children. Any other reason was practically forbidden.
This would explain why they did not really have any dick shaped food. No lollipops , no hot dogs, no sausages. A few men would carry around ice cream cones in their pants to save for later, but women, not really understanding much about an erection, were offended. Simply put, they thought that these men were sporting a chubby since they would constantly fidget around in their pockets making sure the ice cone was not melting too quickly. The more promiscuous woman would ask, “If that an ice cream cone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The man would pull out an ice cream cone, and feeling rejected and embarrassed, the slut, I mean woman, would exclaim that the man was being inappropriate. He was then burned at the stake.
To prevent any more of these so-called mishaps, it became unlawful to walk around on a Sunday with an ice cream cone in your pants. Being modern times, Monday through Saturday is fair game to have people think you are ready for sex, but Sunday is still God’s day. 
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