Day 146: Never Have I Ever…Had To Jump Start My Car (and still haven’t had to)

So last Monday was an odd day. It was a day of bad timing, which is really a typical day for me. I’m totally the type of person to enter a grocery store, and there will be no lines at the checkout counter. However, when I decide to pay I will be on the longest line with no one behind me, suggesting that I am the last person to have to pay, and I will be stuck behind all the feisty old people that need to fight the teller over 5 cents. Then on the way home, pace myself with 65 mph traffic and be the only one to get caught speeding. Upon my return home, my garage remote will run out of batteries, so I’ll call one of my parents to open it for me but they’ll be in heavy traffic. This is typical for me, which is why I think I tend to be so much fun in these situations, if I don’t say so myself. You can bitch an hour which does nothing, or you can make the best of it and laugh.

So last Monday, I had built a desk with A LOT of parts that needed to be disassembled. Yes, that’s correct, I had built it, then needed to take it apart, because my dad needed to clean around the area. Okay, no problem. Done and done.

Earlier that day, I had spoken to a friend because I had forgotten something in her car from Saturday and wanted to pick it up. It was a go. So my plan was to go to Chic-fil-a, pick us up some food, then head about 30 minutes north to pick up my prized possessions, eat, then just go home. I had also called my friend’s hot friend, well because, she’s hot and we get along swimmingly. She loves Chic-fil-a as much as I do and lives around the corner from my friend, so I wanted to include her. To shorten this part, I bring food up to friend and hot friend, we eat, I leave. Done and done.

Around 6:45 I walked out of the mall with a large bag of chicken sandwiches, and I got a call from my friend saying that something had come up, and she couldn’t make it anymore. Then hot friend called me saying the same thing, and I was stuck with a bag of chicken and my proverbial dick in my welcoming hand. She was saying how she didn’t want to make me drive up just to bring her a sandwich, which I would’ve done anyway because I’m crazy random like that. Eventually hot friend and I had agreed that if I drove up to bring her food, she would eat with me and hang out for a bit. Done and done.

At about 730 I picked her up, and we drove around looking for a place to park so we could just eat in my car. We had parked over by the water romantically overlooking Lower Manhattan’s lit skyline. We looked at each other oddly and thought outloud, “Is… is this like a date or something?” We laughed it off, ate, talked and 90 fast minutes later, I had to drive her home. So, being the theme of the day is “What next?!?!” my car doesn’t start. Done and done.

I walked around (and by around I mean to the Starbucks because I had to take a leak) to look for security because they had been patrolling. I figured they would have jumper cables, but they were not to be found. So I made some calls to ask if any friends in the area could jump start me. Done and done.

Hot girl and I walked around the pathway discussing things that adults our age discuss (which is fancy for “I don’t fuckin remember”) and 30 minutes later my friend shows up to jump my car. Excellent. When he got there, I instinctively push the Unlock button on my remote, however, if my battery had died, that shouldn’t have worked. So I decided to try and start my car. So “What next” being the theme of the day, my car starts. We all got a good laugh about hot typical that was since I was involved, and parted way.

On her way home, hot friend and I were discussing the possible “What nexts” and came up with the following:

• As soon as my friend drives off my car breaks down and my phone dies.
• I get 2 flats since I only have 1 spare.
• An anvil falls on me.
• I get caught in the middle of a war between the sewer people and elves.