Day 16: Remember The Time...Taking Allegra Was Suppose Alleviate Allergies And That’s It?

Next time you see a commercial for a prescription medication, listen closely to the side effects. I have always done this, because it’s just always been hilarious to me. There this soothing voice that tells you how much better you’ll feel and how much said medication will improve your quality of life.

Then bam! “Side effects may include gas with oily discharge, debilitating headaches, bleeding from the ears, loss of hair, yellowing finger nails, discolored urine, uncontrollable bladder, stroke, you smell like garlic, your blind to all colors except orange, rash on your toe nails, sudden needs to exclaim the word ‘ hassenfell’, only being able to do math unless the answer is an even number, forgetting letters of the alphabet.” The list goes on, but I feel like you get my point.

My allergies have been pretty severe this season due to the late spring and the very wet winter. Plants are in overdrive whenever the sun’s out, which is ironic because I LOVE the sun, and I love being outside when it’s out. There was a day when that I went to work, and my coworker opened the door and said, “Oh my god are you okay? Do you need to talk? Is everything alright?” I apparently looked like I had been bawling my eyes out. They were extremely red and watery, and I was sniffling a lot. “It’s just my allergies.” I said politely before I asked if she had anything that could help.

She gave me an Allegra, and within the hour I was feeling like a new man. I was productive. I was motivated (which is difficult if you work where I do). I was energetic. “Thank you Allegra!” I thought to myself. I could breathe easily, and just be outside. It was great.

Later I then went to my doctor to get a prescription for it as soon as I could, but not before reading the side effects online. I did not want to be farting oily discharge. Some of the severe side effects were hives (how you can be allergic to allergy medication bogs my mind), mood swings, and depression. I shrugged it off as I haven’t really suffered much of anything that I’ve ever taken before. “Before” being the operative word.

After the 2^nd or 3^rd day of taking this I started feeling pretty down. It could’ve been a few other things, and I have a hunch that those things didn’t help, but this was different. I had trouble seeing the end of it. Random fact 122 – I can usually see the end of just about any tunnel. Usually.

I went to work and felt off. Just completely off. I’d go home and take my socks off, sit on my bed and just breathe, but all I wanted to do was cry. The 2^nd and 3^rd days were similar. The day I stopped taking my allergy medicine was when I started thinking of ways to stop this constant rush of emotional pain, and I did not like what I was coming up with at all.

I had gotten so scared that I flushed the rest of my meds (big waste of money but whatever). I didn’t tell anyone at the time because I didn’t want anyone to know and I didn't want to have anyone checking on me constantly. I didn’t want to be an annoyance, and I knew I’d be fine anyway once I had flushed this nonsense out of my system. The sun’s out now, my mood's, well my mood is my mood, but at least it’s not due to some pill I’ve taken. Gas with oily discharge, discolored urine, hairy fingernails, and elongated pubic hair is now getting smaller in life’s rear-view mirror. Thanks Allegra! Motherfuckers