Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Day 1: If I Ruled Liechtenstein...Finding The Right Car Would Make Sense

"If I Ruled Liechtenstein" will be a regular Wednesday post where you will soon find 52 highly prized, completely logical Utopian values of this obviously wondrous principality.

I am the Duke, son of my father and mother, nephew to his uncles, Leader of the Free Peoples of the incredibly, sparsely populated, quaint, humbley, awesome Kingdom of Liechtenstein. Won't you come for a visit? It will cost a mere 72,000 schadolas (yes that is my currency) a night with a 2 night minimum. Also visit us at www.thiscountryisfreakingawesome.com/aw_yea/thatsright.ireallysaidthat.

Since there is a new sheriff in town, and his name is me, I have passed a bill now allowing car buyers to sign for a 2 week rental of a car they would like to buy. This rental would be the same exact model of the prospective purchase. This 2 week period will allow the potential buyer to fully test out the car. The 10 minutes you currently get for test driving is merely not enough to properly evaluate what is the 2nd biggest purchase you will make. Since my country is not that big (size doesn't always matter you know. at least that's what i tell my dates after a fairly disappointed look down my pants) the mileage would not pile on the car that dramatically.

Also, since this would simply be a rental, it would be in the car company's best interest to keep their property at its very best since they are essentially trying to sell you the car you are renting. I cannot tell you how often I have heard, "Well I liked it when I was testing it out, but I never noticed (enter miniscule annoying detail here such as weird blind spots, weird positioning of buttons, or homeless midget hiding in the back seat with a tack hammer and rubber bands, etc...) Nay I say, Nay! Not in my house (country)!

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