Holy Lots Of Rule Breaking But In This Instance It’s Okay Batman!
Always is as dangerous as saying never. In other words all rules have some sort of exception. “Cheese never goes with seafood.” Sure unless you hate lobster mac n cheese. Whether some rules are made to be broken or not, there’s almost always an exception. That’s why this Batman asked Robin this week, “What are the exceptions to these rules?”
My Partner In Crime responds with the following rule breaking allowances:
Never talk to strangers... unless talking to them about whatever it is they're promoting lands you a cool T-shirt or free samples of food.
Don't run with scissors... unless they're the dull, rounded-edge plastic ones found in kindergarten classrooms that can't cut paper much less break through skin. The paper is actually more deadly.
Look both ways before crossing the street... unless you live in New York City in which case no one looks anywhere even though there are cab drivers barreling down the streets, weaving in and out of traffic at 97 miles an hour.
No running near the pool... unless you want to get wet and/or slip and fall right in front of that hot chick in a bikini you've been eyeing.
Do not enter. This is especially true if you're near the tiger or bear exhibit at the zoo. But the exception is if it leads somewhere cool like backstage at a concert or into another theater at the movies.
Don't go swimming right after you eat... unless you want to puke in the vicinity of that same bikini girl, fully ensuring that you have absolutely no chance with her, and making all other swimmers screech "ewwwww" while paddling away from you as fast as they would had they seen a turd on the bottom of the pool.
What goes up, must come down. Yes, whenever a pigeon flies up, poop rains down. There are no exceptions - especially when you're rushing to a job interview.
Don't run with scissors... unless they're the dull, rounded-edge plastic ones found in kindergarten classrooms that can't cut paper much less break through skin. The paper is actually more deadly.
Look both ways before crossing the street... unless you live in New York City in which case no one looks anywhere even though there are cab drivers barreling down the streets, weaving in and out of traffic at 97 miles an hour.
No running near the pool... unless you want to get wet and/or slip and fall right in front of that hot chick in a bikini you've been eyeing.
Do not enter. This is especially true if you're near the tiger or bear exhibit at the zoo. But the exception is if it leads somewhere cool like backstage at a concert or into another theater at the movies.
Don't go swimming right after you eat... unless you want to puke in the vicinity of that same bikini girl, fully ensuring that you have absolutely no chance with her, and making all other swimmers screech "ewwwww" while paddling away from you as fast as they would had they seen a turd on the bottom of the pool.
What goes up, must come down. Yes, whenever a pigeon flies up, poop rains down. There are no exceptions - especially when you're rushing to a job interview.
While all of these are fine instances on when to break these rules, I may have a few more exceptions:
Never Talk To Strangers – unless you want to meet anyone ever. How in the world are we supposed to make friends?!?
Don’t Run With Scissors – unless someone has broken into your house. Then, by all means, run with scissors... towards the intruder... and even throw them at him if you so desire.
Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street – unless you’re cross-eyed and can see both directions
anyway and/or have phenomenal peripheral vision. Also unless you're blind. If you're blind though, you're not really looking anywhere.
No Running Near The Pool – unless you have diarrhea...and just ate a taco. The please, please run.
Do Not Enter – unless you are escaping from above intruder because you have just thrown your only weapon at them and missed. They by all means, enter. Enter now.
What Goes Up, Must Come Down – one word. clouds. two more words. Charlie Sheen
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