Day 68: Shakespeare's High School Poetry... Back On Track

It feels good to be back on schedule. This week's poem is a parody. I took mine from 10 Things I Hate About You.

Original

10 things I hate about you poem

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close…
not even a little bit…
not even at all.

Mine

A Few Things I Don’t Really Hate About You All That Much But I Probably Should

I don’t really hate how you talk to me,

And how you know just what I’ll say.

I don’t really care that you tell me the same stories

Every minute of every fucking day.

It also doesn’t bother me

When you chew your food out loud.

I’m immune to your annoying habits

And how you always wear brown.

I’m rather indifferent

How you never think you’re wrong.

How you never say, “I’m sorry.”

And how when I say something asinine,

You never just play along.

It weird you sleep with your eyes wide open,

And even weirder how you snore.

I also can’t really say I blame you

All those times you said I was a bore.

It used to always bother me

How you’d never call.

But now I just occupy my time

Walking around, stalking at the mall.

Most of all I don’t really hate how much I don’t really hate you

I guess not even close

Perhaps not even a little

Maybe not even at all.