Day 70: What Did Batman Say To Robin

Holy…Thing…Batman! How In The Frack Did This Happen?!?!

We all know what Smurfs are; little blue people that walk around topless with white hates. Minus there being only one female and a giant, (normal sized to us) retired, old man wearing a onesie, they live pretty freely. They’re cute, have cute names, and use “smurf” as just about every adjective and adverb. For example, I just dropped a huge Smurf thanks to all the Indian food last night.” They have cute names like Smurfette, Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf, Lazy Smurf… etc.

So the question is:

The Smurfs represent a fun, carefree society (minus there being only 1 girl that everyone has to do in order to make more Smurfs). What is the opposite of the Smurfs and what would their names/personalities be?

We live in a world with yin and yang. Nature works in balance. For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. Balance. So, dear reader, what is the opposing community to the Smurfs? The answer is simply, the Fracks. The Fracks are a dirty brown, almost like theater carpet. They’re half bald, the female Fracks are missing teeth, ugly, and could use a shower, quite frankly.

The Fracks came to be as a result of a 2^nd female being banished from Smurf village. Her name was Frackin Smurf. She loved to frackin smurf. She fracken smurfed every chance she got and with every smurf she could frackin smurf with. Papa Smurf Frackin Smurf and her smurf buddies an ultimatum. Either stop smurfing all the time or leave. She chose to leave but not before convincing some of her other smurf buddies to come along with her with promises of all day smurfing. The Smurfs that followed her to the new village now named after her were also given names in honor of her. Frackin whore.

Rapey Frack – his hobbies include bowling, dancing, rape.

Niiga Frack – he says things like “I need to axe you a question” and words like “Conversate”

Wrong Word Frack – always sings the wrong words to lyrics. “Salmon Rockstar” “Don’t Pour Sugar On 

Me” “Thunder Crashes” are some examples.

Obese Frack – eats a lot and is too lazy to walk anywhere so he uses a Segway.

Singy Frack – cannot sing and no matter what he says, his sexy operatic falsetto is not at all sexy.

Slutty Frack – likes to frack. Especially mouth frack.

Manipulative Frack – name suggests personality.

Con Frack – can’t be trusted and always winds up getting about 10 dollars whenever he wants it.

Told You So Frack – always needs to correct you, your grammar, your facts, and always needs to say “I told you so.”